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S(tuff)* People Say to Roleplayers

Posted by WJWalton on Sat 21 of Jan., 2012 06:19 PST
I'm fairly certain that most of you reading this are familiar with the popular S(tuff)* People Say video meme that's been going around lately. For the benefit of those who aren't: it is a collection of videos that give examples of common things said by a certain group of people or sometimes TO a certain group of people, exposing the quirks, foibles, and sometimes blatant ignorance that people can have.

Many of the videos address cultural differences and relationship issues, but as the meme has caught on, there have been a wide variety of topics. Just yesterday, I saw "S(tuff)* Baristas Say", "S(tuff)* People Say To Tattooed People", and "S(tuff)* People Say While Watching S(tuff)* People Say Videos." Just do a YouTube search for "S(tuff)* People Say" and you'll get a bunch of results of varying levels of quality.

(* Don't judge my editing too harshly, please - I try to keep this site as family friendly as I can!)

So, yeah. You know where this is going. I started jotting down a list of S(tuff)* People Say to Roleplayers - then asked around a bit for suggestions from other gamers. I got a small trickle of suggestions before I posted a request to the Old School Gamers group on Facebook, which opened some floodgates (thanks again, guys!). I skimmed out the best, merged a few similar ones together, and here's what I ended up with:

So how do you win?

People still play that game?


Are those real dice? They look weird. That one looks like it has 50 sides.

Isn’t that the game that made all those people kill themselves?

So do you dress up and run around with swords and stuff?

Why can't you people play Monopoly or something normal like everyone else?

I bet you live in your mom's basement, don't you?

Don't you play that in steam tunnels and sewers?

Where's the board?


I have a second cousin on my mother’s side who got into those games and he started painting his room black and lighting candles and worshiping the devil so they took all of his books and dice away and burned them in a fire. He’s much better now.

So this has something to do with sex, right? Dungeons and role-playing and all that...

You don't think all that stuff is real, do you?

Why don't you just play World of Warcraft instead?

But wait - you’re a girl. I thought only guys played those games.

Are you a Satanist?

Maybe that's the way things work in your fantasy world, but here in the real world, things are different.

So let me guess - NONE of you guys have girlfriends. Am I right?

Why do you talk about all of that stuff like it really happened?

You actually enjoy making stuff up?

Is that on the XBox or Playstation? I think my friend has it.

So you are those guys who dress up like vampires and stuff?

So who’s winning?

Do you really have to memorize all of the rules in that giant book?

Is this what you have to do to cope with reality?

I thought Dungeons & Dragons was that stupid cartoon with those kids in the roller coaster. You mean it’s a game, too?

Aren’t you guys a little old for playing make-believe?

My pastor said that game is of the devil.

So it's like another version World of Warcraft?

Isn’t it hard to use your imagination?

What’s the point of playing a game where no one wins?

That sounds really gay.

So how do you get to become a Dungeon Master? Is that like earning a Black Belt or something?

I used to play D&D. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

Isn't that a game for antisocial losers?

Why don't you do something more constructive? (Often said by someone sitting and watching something on TV.)

What do you mean you have to think like a character?

If you don't keep score, what's the point?

Is that where you hit each other with foam swords and stuff?

We used to make fun of you nerds in high school.

So you have no concept of reality?

God, why don’t you people just grow up?

So, what would you add to the list? And more importantly - who's up for turning this into a video for the Escapist's YouTube channel?

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I have been approached with almost every single one of these.

One I got was: "Hey, monsieur, are you playing with your miniature dolls again?"

This was the students seeing me with my minis for that days' Encounters session at the school. I literally laughed out loud.

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