Previous Columns: March 17th, 2000

April 1st, 2000

ew gamers are not familiar with the Knights of the Dinner Table comic book, which details the adventures of a small band of role-players, their fellow gamers, and several members of their gaming community.

But hardly anyone knows about the remarkable Kennedy-Lincolnesque similarities between KotDT regular Bob Herzog and keeper of The Escapist, Bill Walton.  Similarities so remarkable, in fact, that it leads one to believe that there is something more to this than mere coincedence.

Has my identity been stolen?  Is this an attempt to rob me of my very self?  Or has the hand of fate rolled another critical miss on the "artistic creativity" table?  I leave it to you, the reader, to decide...

Bob Herzog	Bill Walton
First name begins with "B".	First name begins with "B".
Lives in Delaware county.	Lives in Delaware State.
Balding and wears dorky glasses.	Has a distinguished receding hairline and sports nifty Lennon specs.
Looks like Bill with a carrot taped to his face.	Looks like Bob with a nose job.
Last name is Herzog.	Once played a Paladin named Herzog.
Plays in B.A. Felton's Hackmaster campaign.	Lives in the town of Felton.
Drives A Chevy Chevette.	Drives a Chevy Nova (close enough!).
Drinks lots of Faygo.	Got sick from drinking too much Faygo at Origins '91

www.kenzerco.com/comics/kodt/default.htm: The official KoDT website, where you can purchase volumes and volumes of this plagaristic rag.

www.hoodyhoo.com: View animated KoDT strips here.  These villians must have cameras hidden in my home!  The nerve!

clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/knightsofthedinnertable: The Yahoo! KoDT club, which aids in the exchange of their nefarious plans to further ruin my character and likeness.

As if this flagrant theft of my identity were not enough, those scoundrels at Kenzer and Company have forced me to include the following statement: Knights of the Dinner Table and Bob Herzog and his likeness are trademarks of Kenzer and Company, and are used here with permission.   All rights reserved.

I, however, have no such legal fetters on my likeness.   Once again, the little guy gets screwed.  Hoody hoo, indeed.

Play nice,
wjw
 
 

Disclaimer for the terminally clueless: Mr. Walton does not honestly hold any of the statements made above as the truth, and has no personal grudge against KoDT, it's creator Jolly Blackburn, or it's parent company Kenzer & Co.  We all know that Bill is much more hip, handsome, and a bigger hit with the ladies than Bob Herzog could ever dream to be.  Please consider the publication date of this particular column before taking it very seriously.